It's been a while since I last blogged, but my little brain was conjuring up all sorts of marvels and now I feel that I am ready to start writing again. Confession number one. cuddly, curvy people, 'not fat, big boned' it's genetic', you know them, the kind that always spill over onto your seat on public transport, breathe really heavily and eat like their lives depended on it while swilling a diet coke. well this is about them and my recent admission to being fatist.


I think a lot of this stems from the fact that I was one chubby kid, my brother likes to refer it to the 'Monica Days'.Fast forward to 2010, I am a shadow (a smaller one) of my former self, in the physical sense anyway.

Never to be one to make such a confession without the research to back it, Instead of the pro-anorexia sites, I have been looking at Pro-fatty and there have been some gems (mostly American lesbians but still) see the pic of them?aesthetically pleasing? Ich dont think so..

Scientific researchers, not my kind, I research important things like Jordan's chances of getting pregnant, kerry katona's weight and whether or not Lindsay Lohan has snorted another gram...anyway clever people found that the mere sight of someone who is overweight can trigger feelings of disgust and nausea similar to encountering rotten food because we associate it with disease) so I guess I'm not alone...

On the other hand Hollywood appears to love fat people, or fat suits at least. stick Eddy Murphy in a fat suit and insert fart noises and your on your way to a box office hit. Look at Shallow Hal and Mrs. Doubtfire and the mere thought of John Trovolta dressed as a woman in Hairspray is enough to make me want to choke on my skinny lattee.
ps. sorry fattys.

When hell runs out of room the dead will walk the earth. Happy Easter

Let me tell you some facts about Ri and Faye

FACT: Faye and Ri have a combined age of 121 years.
FACT: One of the two is an infant.
FACT: One of the two wear nappies.
FACT: But both of them should.
FACT: Paddyxien.blogspot.com was begrudgingly created to satisfy a stipulation of a federal court ruling against Faye and Ri.
FACT: They either had to create a blog or perform 2,000 hours of community service.
FACT: The charge against them was treason.
FACT: 2,000 hours community service ain’t bad for treason.
FACT: Ri once found a Chinese Fortune Cookie that had her entire life (past, present, and future) written on it.
FACT: Things don’t end well for Ri
FACT: But the Chow Mein was delicious.
FACT: Faye and Ri frequently arm wrestle.
FACT: Faye’s favourite seasoning for chips is itching powder.
FACT: Faye is illiterate and has scabies.
FACT: Ri is a simple farmer from rural Portugal, charged with the task of finding and killing her shadow self before she is killed in turn.
FACT: Now you know everything there is to know about Faye and Ri.

Apple man Bad man

Right, so it has been forever. Get over it. I'm now a fully fledged college student... trying to live up to the stereotype as much as possible... bongs and all! "Naaaaat" (see? Borat quote...student cool points right there)

I have a sad sad story to tell. It's one which illustrates just how much the world needs to wake up and get a sense of humour. It all happened in the Farmer's market in Howth, Dublin...

I do enjoy having a gander at the finest organic produce available (or known to mankind... Withnail quote... another cool point). I had just completed 5 days of pretty solid inebriation and I was extremely malnourished and in dire need of some vitamins and minerals. From the corner of my eye, I see a large stall selling solely apples.

I approached the apple stall and noticed the large barrels of apples... green ones, red ones, greenish-red ones, yellow apples and even other apple products including juices and sauces.

I approached the apple man, with an apple on his apron and a Pink Lady in his hand and said aloud 'Oh, I must get some apples'... the man asked me 'Would you like to buy some apples?'

In the most sarcastic voice possible, I replied 'Oh yeah... have you got any? haha!'

He replied 'Eh...yes we do?' and gave me a blank to worried grimace.

Great. Thanks for making us both look like imbeciles MORON

There were too many English Elvises and no Chinese Elvis

...until now...

While scouring the www for new and exciting content for the blog, I came across the rise of Chinese Elvises. apparently they are number one when it comes to impersonating the King. One Chinese Elvis said that he can also sound like George Michael and Billy Idol but "unfortunately there isn't much call for a Chinese George Michael. Someone once requested a Chinese Cliff Richard but I couldn't do him". This particular chap has a Chinese Restaurant named 'The Graceland’s Palace' where sweet and sour pork is renamed 'I Just Can't Help Believing'...I don’t get it.

Now, I've always been a fan of themed restaurants and a supporter of the arts but this...I'm not so sure. there is nothing worse than going somewhere when you have to order a meal and put on an Elvis voice (FACT). I dug deeper and got some feedback from diners, Sven, 45 (the joker) "I travelled all the way from Sweden to see this legend, the food was awful and it tasted really musty. Elvis didn't even enter the building, let alone leave it"
I tried to book Elvis for an appearance, apparently he is on a sabbatical...but can do Sundays. This story gets stranger and stranger.
For more information visit chineseelvis.com

An elephant on waterskis... what's not to like?

I'm moving up to the big smoke for college in a few weeks now and so I wanted to bring along some of my favourite photos and pictures to spruce up my undoubtedly dull apartment. I decided to print out a few of my favourite old black and whites that I didn't necessarily take...


So I venture to the local pharmacy where they provide a photo printing service in exchange for money. A fair exchange in my eye. I inserted my USB into the correct port and began to choose the images of which to print.


By the time I had selected the photos, I had noticed that the ladies behind the counter were ready to leave. The pharmacy closed at 6pm and it was 2past! The lights were extinguished and the floor was swept, leaving me in a bit of a panic. I tried to make the printer print faster so I could make my escape but it did not respond to my encouraging words. Instead, it changed it's sound so I presumed it was done so I grabbed the photos, inserted them into a folder and paid my debt of €9.60


As I walked home, I was excited to see the results, I peered into my photo folder and looked through the photos. To my horror, there was one missing.

Now, of all the normal, straight forward pictures of happy teenagers, drunken uncles, cuddly baby cousins etc that there were... it would be my luck for the most bizarre photo to be left behind. One photo. A weird one. (see right) The printer hadn't stopped printing. It was taking a break. The pharmacy lady is going to find it in the morning and know it was me who had it.


I think I've outstayed my welcome in this town...time to get out, and quick... before the pharmacy lady tells the entire village

Steps to being our dog, Honey

1) Pick something that you do in private

2) Do it in public

3) Be covered in hair

Why do Cadburys use an attractive female rabbit as a mascot for Cadbury's Caramel bars? (Well...I think she's attractive...)

I know sex sells, but I can honestly say, I dont know a single rabbit who would buy a Cadbury's Caramel bar.

Has the world gone mad? Are Cadburys trying to promote human-rabbit inter-breeding? Is it weird that I have a girl crush on the Cadbury's Caramel Rabbit? What is this rabbit's name? How does she maintain such a slimline figure with a diet consisting solely of Caramel? Where is she now? Why would they take her away from us?

IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE?

I bet she's an old cynical gin-soaked wench now, bitterly watching reruns of 'Cheers' and 'Happy Days' thinking of the days when she had it all. I've said too much...

I HATE PEOPLE WHO CONTINUOUSLY SNEEZE REALLY LOUDLY! SHUT THE SHIT UP AND STAY THE SHIT AWAY FROM ME YOU GERMSPREADING IDIOT!

Why wait until you are sick?

When I took a break from playing Pokemon Diamond,  I stumbled across a hospital themed restaurant. Now this is one strange place. By the looks of things, you go for a meal in a hospital bed and are put in a straight jacket and fed blended food by some sexy Latvian nurses. The chap has a weird Fritzl-esque look about him and the other guy looks dead? Who is the guy on the left supposed to be? The hospital dictator? 

Ones food is served in test tubes and you can either opt for the hot matron or use some surgical instruments. I wonder if they wash them properly. They say a picture can tell a thousand words. in this I think only one word springs to mind... sick. What ever will they think of next?

One way to avoid the tube strike

I want a donkey. What a way to travel - by donkey. No-one else in town travels by donkey. I have seen people in Blackpool go on donkey rides but I have never been to Blackpool. I thought about getting a horse, a horse is a sexier beast than a donkey. A stallion would say 'ooh yeah!' and 'rage', but would require too much maintenance; food and grooming and everything else that I can hardly manage to do for myself let alone for 900lbs of horsey muscle. I think a donkey would more or less take care of itself; eating anything and happily going for weeks without so much as a hose-down. I could slope down the road on my donkey, Stu, slowly, no wind in my hair, painting my nails and reading the Funday Times. Then I could tie him to the wall outside the office and he could graze on fag-butts and thistle-weeds and those red rubber bands that the postmen leave. At lunch we could do a lap round Kennington park, stopping at the pub on the way back where I could pour a Guinness into a bowl for him and leave one in a glass for me.

Like birds, I don't know where you get donkeys from. The Zoo? I might have to rustle one from the city farm in Hackney. It's risky; a donkey ain't much of a getaway vehicle. Still, I can't just leave old Stu imprisoned, he needs liberating. I don't know what's happened to me, I'm no animal sucker. I'm not even a proper vegetarian. Maybe I'm sick of urban and miss good old west cork. It's the concrete and the men smashing the concrete with pneumatic drills and wrecking balls. I need to ride a donkey out to a wild orchid poppy meadow with a little bird on my shoulder... or possibly Rian. I need to lie down in the long grass by a cool glassy stream, finish the Funday Times and have a little nap with my cowboy hat over my eyes and possibly a sprig of wheat in my mouth (I wouldn't eat it though as I'm trying to cut down).

Dear Morons,

Ok, so general feedback is generally ok but this one is for all of you who seem to have a problem with understanding that this is a blog, written by two sisters. (and no, we don't have and will never have lesbian-incest tendencies Emerald)

One of us, living in London. The other, living in Ireland. Geddit? Our blogs can be differenciated by the post heading... generally stating 'By Faye' or 'By Ri' and if not, just try to guess!

As for 'Jimmy' who I tore apart re: his public transport rant... please dont take it personally. It's not a personal attack on you, it's just that I think you're an absolute chowderhead (said in a NY accent) In hindsight, I guess it was a personal attack on you, addlepate.

And thats another small step for man... (Faye)

Through a competition with Yazoo you can have your letter launched into space. Yazoo are the milkshake people at the Campina dairy (you know, the little dinosaur). What is there to put in a letter launched into space? Surely it depends on which direction they launch it, they most likely don't speak English in most parts of this or any other galaxy. In fact I think you'd be lucky to find life that understood the simple convention of opening an envelope to read the letter written folded inside. It's as futile as a suicide note. Although I guess any letter submitted isn't really written to space aliens or the universe. It's written to the man at Yazoo responsible for deciding which letters get sent. George, Campina, NASA liason officer. Doesn't he know you shouldn't open other people's mail? Its against the law George.

Why Does Science Get All the Bodies? (neither)

I googled 'heaven' and this came up... How wonderfully tacky. >>>>

Science gets all of the best bodies. Meanwhile, other disciplines are left out in the cold, forgotten. Screw that. I’m going to donate my body to a field of study that needs it.

“But wait,” you might say, shouting at your computer in hopes that I could hear you through the magic electronic tubes, “an incalculable amount of discoveries are made when people donate their bodies to science! You are helping your fellow humans by giving researchers and surgeons valuable people parts!”

But nay, I say in response. What about the philosophy professor without the human corpse waiting by his doorstep, or the Greek literature scholar, depressed because nobody thought of her when looking for places to donate their lifeless husk? Imagine the joy in their eyes when they open their doors and see a recently deceased body flopped there, with a handwritten note that simply stated, “You thought we’d forgotten *wink*. “

So when thinking of places to mail off your remains, be sure to call up the Spanish or accounting studies departments of your local college or university. These people deserve your attention, too. Except marketing. Anything but marketing. They already have enough soulless corpses.

No pun - no fun By Ri

(Yes yes... it is Ri riding a polarbear... and that aint no sick metaphor neither!) >>>>>>>

Onto another point, the words “pun intended” or the equally sickening “excuse the pun“. People who point out their puns are comparable to those who explain their jokes: they both think you're too brainless to 'get' it.

People... When you point out your puns, you're making a value judgement on me. You're actually saying: “Did you see what I just did? Yeah, well that was no accident...oh no... In fact, I thought it was so clever that I didn't think your simple mind would be able to comprehend the brilliance of my play on words, and I wanted to make sure you know that I'm not only smart enough to use homonyms, but that I'm smart enough to point them out.”

If you are one of those people who excuses your puns, you’re just going to have to avoid me at all costs. I will not be impressed, I will actually be insulted. The dreaded ‘pun intended’ is, in fact, worse than ‘glorious day isn’t it?’ if you‘re wondering.

Remember: You are unique...just like everybody else (Ri)

OK, so... whilst in the cinema watching a movie (as one usually does in a cinema...unless you're one of those cinema lurkers...there's always one) I was seated with my friend literally in the very front row (definitely got the short stick).So anyway, with our necks perpendicular to the screen itself, the ads come on. Now, cinema ads are a funny thing. People laugh at ads they see in the cinema, even if they've seen them a million times at home before... Does the bigger screen enhance the comic-value?

Most importantly, on to the point I am trying to make... One particular ad for 'adidas' (It really kills me to have to spell that with a lower-case 'a' to start with...) I'm not sure if anyone remembers the 'Skins Season 1' ad with a house party of drunken, adrenaline/drug filled teenagers blasting The Gossip's 'Standing in the Way of Control' at a house party? It was literally almost exactly the same. However, instead of teenagers, the 'adidas' houseparty was filled with familiar celebrity faces... David Beckham, Missy Eliot, Katie Perry, Estelle (the rough looking bird made famous from that tune 'American Boy') and loads of other 'celebs'. Each of them are adidas-clad from head to toe.

Then... The Pièce de Résistance... the caption. 'Be Original' haaaaaa! I seem to be the only one who found the irony of this! This ad is, in fact, a paradox in itself! It's telling people to 'Be Original' by wearing the exact same clothes as all these celebrities! The stupidity is overwhelming...

Small talk shmall smalk

It's been a while since I've blogged... mainly due to the blasted Leaving Cert getting me down. But also, because I've had 'blog-block' which sounds a lot more gross than it actually is... I just havent been inspired. 'Till now...


Right so...Sometimes, I don’t like something, but I could probably combat that dislike, with the right self-help book to guide me towards a change of heart. For small talk, this is not the case. I don’t dislike small talk, that would suggest that small talk and I could reconcile our differences and learn to live in harmony. No, ‘dislike’ is far too mild. I literally hate small talk. So much so, I will avoid it at all costs. Start a conversation with me beginning with the words ‘glorious day isn’t it?’ or any reference to the level of precipitation of the last week/month/year, I will actually just give you a polite smile and turn away, and give no apologies for it either! I don’t intend on being rude, I just don’t like people wasting my time and energy on a conversation topic which barely warrants a passing thought. So, unless there’s a typhoon or a tsunami on the way, just save us both the embarrassment and immediately presume that I wont care.

I am sorry to any of you who have had to have this conversation with me. You're just painfully awkward and I have very little to say to you... I'm sure you're a great person with a great life but... I dont really care? Sorry again... but not really...

Where has my wife gone? The man who mistook his wife for a hat

Whilst shopping for Egyptian artefacts and pieces of toast with imprints of Jesus and Elvis on (oh Faye, your job is so wacky), I came across this book. My imagination has been running wild all day with the notion of a man mistaking his wife for a hat. I wonder if when he (like my dad when he loses his glasses) realises she is on his head? Why doesn’t she pipe up? Some women mistake their boyfriends for door mats. I am going to experiment mistaking my boyfriend for my window boxes and pour water over him first thing in the morning with a watering can. Anything would be better than a rubbish bin. Needless to say, I bought the book.

I would never physically STEAL a DVD, In the same way I would not STEAL a handbag. However, I would duplicate a handbag and give it back. I just dont have a handbag duplicating machine.
you see...biiig difference, now as for downloading a car....I so would.

The McCarthy's by Rian

This one is for Papa Smurf. Our dad is a very intelligent and witty man. When you talk to him for longer than 5 minutes, it becomes pretty clear that he is of another era. The age where 'stickin it to the man' and 'fighting the power' was what it was all about. He listens to bands that nobody has EVER heard of with the craziest names like 'The New Riders of the Purple Sage' (A 'psychedelic cowboy band') or 'Wishbone Ash' (who are actually are not half bad)

ANYWAY
While helping me with a study on religious trends, he informed me of a question in the Irish census which asked 'What Religion are you? e.g. Orthodox Jewish'. So just to spite them he wrote that our family are Orthodox Jews. So somewhere in a large statistics office in Dublin, someone is looking at the statistics of Schull, and speculating as to why there is such a large influx of the Orthodox Jewish faith in the area.

On another witty note, when there was a particular note that I had to mention in the project but had little to say about, he advised me to say 'Well, as for that, I feel it speaks for itself'. Legend.

I wish cars looked like this by Faye

Imagine how much better life would be if we drove cars that look like fruit. I would definetly pick the orange one.




Rian said she would be a brussels sprout.

Mom, you gotta know when to hold them... by Rian

Hey kids! In these financial hard times, I have devised a new and useful plan on how to earn cash without lifting so much as a leg.

Being off school for the past 2 weeks, I've been spending a lot of time with my mum. It has been great but I think she's sick of me... she doesn't understand that I say things merely to wind her up. (I didn't MEAN it when I said I wanted to do night classes in taxidermy mum...)

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Something, which I have found effective is betting against your mum... personal favourites of the week... 'Mum, I bet you a fiver it's going to rain!' or 'I bet you honey (my puppy) is going to come back wet and muddy'

The skill involved, is choosing subjects with very high probabilities. It's Ireland. Of course it's going to rain. Honey is a puppy, she is always wet and muddy. Also, mum doesn't actually have a say. She might agree and KNOW that it's going to rain, but the fact that I said it first, means HAND OVER THE FIVER WOMAN!

This week's total earnings: €15

Thing is...it really is taking advantage of a painfully nice woman. Then again, it's a dog-eat-dog world and desperate times call for desperate measures...

Kodak moments, entirely ruined by the McCarthy sisters, Part 1 (by Faye and Rian)

It must be a family trait, Rian and I have found perfectly good examples of when we ruin a 'Kodak Moment' These pictures will appear regluarly (as soon as we find more)

Faye the fish...

Rian the Camel. (far right of the photo)

Reading in the Bath by Faye

A recent trip to the pictures left me feeling confused. I went to see the Reader, and apart from the war bit, i was rather puzzled as to HOW Kate Winslet can read in the bath (I dont want to spoil the film and confuse things by mentioning the young boy in the bath with her)

Ok, after a long day at the office, I would love nothing more than to relax in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and a book. The reality is, I end up running the bath too hot, getting my favourite book wet before i even get in the bath, and the last thing I feel like is drinking a glass of red with one hand, finding somewhere to put it when I turn the page, without slipping around in the bubbles. But how does the woman in the picture look so graceful?

Magazines in the tub dont work any better, they ALWAYS get wet and the pages end up warping and sticking together which results in a hot and bothered mess with purple lips and teeth. If, you have succeded to finish the glass of wine, Where do you put it when you need to rinse off? Its all too confusing. I think I will stick to a pint in the shower.

Bye bye baby by Rian

This is a note on all things babies. No baby jokes though, I genuinely do not find them funny. Not even offensive, but just not funny.

Babies are funny to me... but even more funny is the way people treat babies. In general, for some reason, a newborn is treated like a messiah.Pet Hate Warning: I hate when people see a male newborn and remark either "Lock up your daughters" or "He's gonna be some heart breaker!"... it makes no sense. How could you possibly be able to tell how good looking that baby with grow up to be? OR that he will be a ladies man?

Sticking to the theme at hand...Here's another funny and unfortunate story. It entails aspects of both the youth and the elderly...
It all started when I was born to a poverty-stricken Eastern European couple and abandoned somewhere near the rural village of Krowlsky near Trotskschy, where I befriended a pack of friendly wolves who raised me as their own (which may or may not be true) but when I was born, my paternal grandmother (who was always known for her blunt-words) visited my mother and I in the hospital and as soon as she saw me she said "She's the head off Uncle Jeffrey". My mother, hours after labour, burst into tears because she had just been told her beautiful newborn baby girl looked like an 80 year old man. I think it's hilarious, I don't care. I would like to see a picture of said Jeffrey, just for laughs.
NOTE TO SELF: Stop associating The Bay City Roller's tune 'Bye Bye Baby', with miscarriages.

25 Random Things You Didnt Know About Faye And Rian

25 Things about Faye and Rian you may not know, not in particular order

1. All of our money is safely invested in lottery tickets.
2. We have never been able to correctly spell pkyvqgccceknzv.
3. Millions of years ago we killed the dinosaurs.
4. Our beards exist solely to cover embarrassing tattoos of a beard.
5. Every time Rian goes to the zoo, she steals a penguin. She is building an army.
6. Faye once went on an adventure in a dark magic school bus. She went to the fifth circle of hell.
7. We invented the shark. Sorry.
8. We have both been to the moon and it’s covered with cocaine. No, wait, I have that backwards.
9. We can pull coins out of people’s ears but it’s a very lengthy and costly operation. If you still would like to see this, please send Rian a message.
10. Due to reverse evolution, Faye is now the proud owner of a third hand. Also, Rian has gills.
11. Unrelated, Rian stole someone’s hand once.
12-23. (Unique genital variations...don't really want to get into it)
24. Faye spent three years as a drummer for U2, she did this in transition year and two later gap years.
25. Hell is a place on Earth and we all live there. (not really)

Smooth talkin' by Rian

Why are smoothies called such ridiculous names? While sister and I were casually enjoying a pot of tea, over a chat about general world affairs and the state of the state at present, we noticed a brightly coloured menu which caught our eye and enticed our senses. It was a smoothie menu.

Why is it that a smoothie containing Strawberry and Banana must be named 'Strawberry Fantasy' (actual name from said menu) If a sandwich contains ham, cheese and tomato, the menu will read 'Sandwich -ham, cheese and tomato' NOT 'Ham Utopia'

Other Smoothie names which brought a smile to our faces:

Blueberry Passion (Containing blueberries and strawberries) Will the smoothie offer you some sort of 'passion'... if so, weird.

Coconut Grove (Containing pineapple, banana and coconut) What? That name doesn't even make sense!

So. From here on, I propose that we set up a straight talking restaurant. Name pending... perhaps 'Room of Food' or something to that effect...

Menu:
Melon in bowl
Liquidised vegetables
Carcass on plate


Menu suggestions and alternative names welcome.

Cats in the Ladle?...by Faye

Someone (my mother) told me a story yesterday and I can't get it out of my head...There was a Chinese man who was pulled up by the police recently and he has 20 cats in his car.

I cant forget it. Firstly I thought the man had the 20 cats in his car to train them and put on a little show where they dance around. sadly not.

Packing lightly...by Rian

Why is it that any time I have to pack to spend +2 days anywhere SOMEONE, sometimes more than one, makes the comment "Sheesh, how long are you planning on staying for!?" or "Rian's moving in!"

Get a new line... I change my clothes upto 3 times daily... (which apparently illustrates great insecurities which I'm unaware of) get over it. I have.

Hope this makes up for my absentism By Faye

I haven't blogged in days...thought this would make up for it...

Gone Fishin...sounds fishy.

Vodafone Website BASTARDS by Rian

OK, so it's only during this past year have I well and truly realised how terribly SHIT the vodafone-Ireland website is. OK, so they're providing a free service, sound... but does that REALLY give them the right to piss off the cheapskate webtexters of the world? So upon trying to send a text to an acquaintance of mine, I am greeted with a blanket of special offers and adverts informing me on how I could spend my hard earned cash (which is imaginary)

That's grand. I've come to terms with the marketing BASTARDS that are, Vodafone. (Thank you for your 6am messages telling me I have 'now topped up' ...when I clearly have not as I don't wake up at stupid o'clock in the morning to top up my phone.)

So then I try and 'log in' to my 'account' (inverted commas to add to the dramatic effect of the story of course) with a ridiculously difficult to remember password which was issued to me BY Vodafone (though I could have sworn they call it a passcode...gay)

Oh wait... the site is under 'scheduled' maintanance (it doesn't count if it's scheduled or not if you don't tell anyone IDIOTS) Sorry for the inconvenience? HOW sorry?

Then I refresh my screen and voila... they have unscheduled their scheduled maintenance. Ok, great.

Now to send the text... forced to use the dreaded 'hw r uz?'s due to the small character allowance but that's ok. I've managed to perfectionize the message to use as few characters as possible while still offering the recipient a little SMSdelight.

We're sorry, that is not allowed because we have no idea what we're doing so we're going to say you pressed a button you shouldn't have.

Don't be sorry vodafone. Just send my Webtext.

Please and Thank you.
Idiots.

REMINDER

Don't forget the old posts. They're still very much valid!

Start spreading the news; Molly O'Mahony By Rian

Nice Post sister... the world of television excites me. Greatly.

Here's mine for the day. A wonderful, wonderful talent...Molly O'Mahony.
This woman... I tell you, she's one to watch. Much love my dear friend x

What we really want for Easter...by Faye

A Cadbury's Cream Egg filled with filling the same as an easter egg (and my lovely katy from work). In your face easter bunny.

Hotdog we have a weiner!...By Rian

A fine idea Faye! Something we love and want more of! Down with hating...


I love and want more dogs who can balance frankfurters on their noses...

...definately not enough of them in the world. I know that.

...by Faye

Its time for the Japanese to English translation t-shirt fuck up awards.

By Faye

Instead of having a rant today, I wanted to put up something that i love and want and need. More Russian Dolls.

By Rian

This guy annoys us...and not in a good way... we can tear his attempts at being funny apart. There's no point in LOOKING for faults or 'random' things in life people... if you see them straight away the jokes will come to you.

1. People dont drive because they cannot afford to IDIOT! Not because they are too old or too mental to drive a car (generally, 'mental' people don't know they are mental)

2. Old people and people with mental disorders 'disgust' you? Idiot.

3. If he was naturally funny, he wouldnt have to edit his videos so heavily. Even when edited, they're still only minorly humorous.

4. As for your remark (at aprox. .40secs in) "You're on a bus'... NO buddy... YOU are on a bus... you surely cannot expect people to be totally sensitive to your needs. I'm sure they are not playing it 'just to be obnoxious'

5. I have never seen a girl in tears on a bus. Ever. (Ou look... and another take, and another... nice editing funnyboy!)

6.Imagine. The bus driver was wearing a bus driver's uniform. The reason it is high-vis is in case the bus breaks down etc in the dark. He will be clearly visable. (and another take!)

7. How can you be more visable than when you are driving a double decker bus? Em... it's clearly a uniform, again. Idiot.

8. "If people dont see you they're stupid" Are you suggesting that the visually impared are stupid? (Another take in there too...)

9. The beige argument is truly stupid. I dont even need to say why. (one or two takes)

Other than that...quite a funny guy.

I V I K E...By Faye

Probably one of the best misleading brands I have seen in a long time. IVIKE. seperate the lines. genius.

Just do it...IVIKE.

Our hero... by Rian

This guy conjures up many many emotions in us. Mainly confusion.

(Make sure you listen to the whole thing!)



Clap Clap.

By Faye and Rian

hahaha I don't get it. Since when have cats been associated with bad spelling and grammar? Why are these even funny?
What does I can has cheezburger even mean?
'Do cats even like cheezburgers?'
Why is cheezburger spelled with a 'z'?

This can most definately be filed under things we hate along with your manno from The Darkness (see below)

Cats with poorly spelled captions. Weird! Why?

Wez beez hatinz dez picturz


Are they suggesting that cats, if they had writing/vocal skills, would be poor spellers/speakers...

Just a bit shit really...

By Faye and Rian

Rian, we have one follower and I dont even know who it is. I fear our efforts are overlooked.

I know Faye, I don't think he's even a real person... It's a sad day for the sister bloggers. :(

I forgot how much this guy pissed me off... by Faye

Top 5 Animals of the '90s... By Rian

You may also notice that these animals were quite commonly printed on cheaply made t-shirts



(Like the one Faye and Darren bought me for my 8th birthday of Leonardo Di Caprio which melted on me when I fell asleep in the sun in Crete)

In hindsight, the hummingbird would have been pretty golden too...

Oh Rian...I will love you until the wheels come off.

Faye in the morning... by Rian

When we were younguns, we regularly looked at old photographs of times gone by (France '94 etc) (*tear*)

Anyway, there was always a picture of an ape at a zoo and Mum used to always tell us 'That's Dad in the morning'

I never really understood WHY it was funny back then... now? It's priceless...

So...this is for you sister...This is Faye in the morning...

Why? by Faye

Why?

I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidently' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son

For Keeps Sakes

Day 1.

Nothing. Rian?

Nothing. My mind is a deep abyss of knowledge which I cannot put into words. Just a part of the day-to-day struggle I must endure each and everyday as a real life superhero AND genius. The deadliest of all cocktails :(